This year for "Christmas" (I'm assuming you mean the Christmas season despite not all people celebrating Christmas, a lot of Americans online seem to be paranoid about even saying Christmas because it's not "politically correct". Well it's what I celebrate so that's the term I will use) it will be just my immediate family, I mean people I share 50% or more DNA with: my mum, dad and my brother.
Ever since I was born (and possibly before but I can't account for that) we have had big family Christmases, where my grandparents and aunts and uncle (usually from my mother's side) would all come over to our house for a huge Christmas meal. But since then, and certainly in the past decade when I've been a lot older, we have been rapidly losing family members. This year all my aunts have got boyfriends they want to spend Christmas with, I have no grandparents or uncle left, and so it's just us.
In a way I'm looking forward to it because finally I'll get to enjoy a day doing what I want to do and not keeping my younger cousins in control. But the sheer absence of family around me will be the most emotionally challenging.

When I was a child, like all children, Christmas was about getting presents and revelling in the magic of Santa and all those other cute little fairytales they tell kids to make them enjoy Christmas. But as I've got older I've started to see it as a very family-orientated holiday. I am not a Christian, I used to be and I used to genuinely believe in God but then science came along and showed me logic and reasoning and explosions :P Not that I'm saying any religion, Christianity included, is intrinsically wrong, and I'm very tolerant of all religions and accept them as a way of life, I'm a "vegetarian" and that's getting like a religion nowadays.
Christmas was always the time I could surround myself with relatives, and this year it's going to feel so empty. Plus my grandfather actually died on Christmas eve, and while I don't want that to be a little black cloud over what is supposed to be a happy time, I know it will be, but I try to honour his memory rather than wallowing in misery.

The other thing I love about Christmas is giving presents, I don't ask for much anymore but this year I cannot WAIT to see my mum's face when I surprise her with something I know she'll love. I just want to know what's going to happen after the presents are open, this is the first Christmas I have ever had that hasn't been planned to the last detail, it's going to be weird.
I need a nicer conclusion than that, I don't think I like the "holidays" any more or less than I did when I was a child, but I like it for different reasons, and I think they're better reasons.

"They", whoever "they" may be, were right, money brings you nothing but problems.
If you thought being in debt was a pain in the proverbial backside, I've found that actually having money that is readily available can be as much of an annoyance.
I live in a family where, despite my parents working very hard for everything we own, they are still in some amount of debt. The mortgage, for example, is debt that very few people are able to avoid. My father however has a bit of a problem with money in that if he has any available, even if it isn't his, he will spend it. Hence why he is in a lot of debt and now the whole family is working to get him out of it.
Due to the bills now all being paid by my mother, she has no available cash either and is positively relieved when I hand over the rather small (although she insists she won't take any more despite my offers) "board and lodgings" money that goes towards my food.
My brother, while a student and so receives a hefty student loan every term, has the same spending habits as my dad and so that student loan promptly vanishes. The last installment he received was "lent" to his girlfriend so she could buy a laptop. I don't see him ever seeing that money again.
I, while I have been known to splurge occassionally and treat myself, tend to save my money for that mythical rainy day. I've been saving a lot more recently because current economic circumstances mean I don't trust my money with anyone but me. I have been putting £10 a month (modest, I know, but I only work part-time) into my ISA which I hope to increase in future when I gain full-time employment, despite it earning negligible interest. I also am very proud of my Stop My Parents Wasting Money On the Lottery incentive scheme. Every time my dad renews his lottery tickets, once a month, for both weekly draws, I put the same amount (£10) in a money box. At the end of the year, which is now fast approaching, I will hopefully teach them a lesson in that I have a whole £120 in cash to spend as I wish, and while they did win £10 at the beginning of the year, they have failed to win anything else, bringing their lottery total to -£110.

So, the lengthy back-story is dealt with, my main gripe is that because I am the only person in the household with any sort of available cash and a healthy bank account (rarely in the red, and if ever not by much) I am constantly asked for money, or even worse, expected to pay for things.
Take the example of my recent errand of getting copies of a large number of old family photographs spanning an impressive four generations. My mother intially expected the bill to come to £40 maximum. In fact it came to £60. Knowing I could cover the payment on my card, I paid knowing my mother would pay me back, usually by just not having me hand over the £20 "board and lodgings" next week. But I had barely been home an hour and the milkman called for his money, another £20 down the pan. And while I could have told him to come back when the adults returned from work, I pre-empted that they would have just borrowed the cash off me anyway.
Which my mum seems to have convieniently forgotten about. Plus she wants me to venture into Liverpool city centre next week on my way back from work to buy a few last minute Christmas presents.
Even more annoyingly, and she hasn't resorted to this yet because she's transferred some money from her savings into her current account, she "borrows" from my Lottery Match Fund (as I call it) and frequently I am the one left to replenish it (she uses the usual "just don't pay me my board&lodgings money" to cover it).

But at least all these money problems have taught me a valuable lesson, that I shouldn't be like my parents. I won't get five credit cards and wonder why I'm getting threatening letters, I will try my hardest to stay out of my overdraft where any money I do get is sucked from me by the banks, and only ever borrow what I can afford. I know this is likely impossible in this day and age, but I can put off the nasty effects of bad debt for as long as possible with this ethos.
So while my parents may be tearing their hair out worrying about the banks knocking on our doors for money they lent us (but didn't have in the first place anyway) they are teaching me an important life lesson. Thanks parents.

I only speak English, unfortunately there is little incentive or need to learn other languages in the Western World where I reside (because the majority expects everyone to speak English), and I'm really bad at learning them.
Learning just one other language is a hard choice, it's a toss-up between Latin and Chinese. Both are roots of many other languages worldwide. While I couldn't speak or understand a spoken word of any of the other Western European languages, due to their similar Latin root with English I am okay at deciphering some of the written elements of Western European languages. Also a small background in French and German helped, there was a time when I could have a pretty decent conversation in French (more than the usual "where are the toilets" for example). I studied the language from age 8 to about 16 in school but because I stopped using it after GCSE level, did not visit France or other French-speaking countries regularly and did not know any French-speaking people so I became horribly out of practise and now I can barely say two words that have any real meaning in a sentence and I couldn't conjugate a French verb to save my life.

Due to my desire to travel to Asia I think learning Chinese would be a great advantage, despite my plans to travel to Japan and I do realise these languages have diverged somewhat, in comparison so have English, French, German, Italian etc. but they're still not too hard to tell apart once you've grasped one (English excluded because it's a weird language). Realistically I think there is little chance I will ever explore outside of Europe again, so perhaps Latin would be the better option, despite my relentless insistence that one day I will step foot on Japanese soil.

I cannot recall if I have ever voiced my opinions on the famous American film company, but I am somewhat opposed to them.
Thanks to Disney I now suffer from chronic obsessive fangirl syndrome associated with animated characters, I'm actually quite surprised this has never developed to full-blown Furry-ism.
However I am aware of the damage that has been done to me thanks to watching their mind bleach when I was a young girl. Others are not so lucky, I have encountered countless girls who have grown into women with impossibly high standards (they want Prince Charming) or have one simple plan to make sure they are comfortable in life: "I'll bag a rich man."
However I realised that the evil characters had more, well, character, than the heroes and they became my role model, and they taught me that the pretty, popular ones always win and you have to try damned hard to get anywhere in life. Torture, general infamy and the occasional evil plot also help :)

Then along come my teen years when I discover the gem from the East, Studio Ghibli. Yes, they may also have twelve year olds falling in love at first sight, but some of their movies teach about the hardships of life and about the value of the earth and that material possessions don't mean jack shit when you have to survive in an attic delivering parcels on a broomstick with a sarcastic cat at your side because your parents kicked you out when you were ten...okay...not the best example.
Essentially, Disney's motto is: boys, be strong, be charming, be an arse and don't show any emotions, the chicks dig that. Girls: your prince charming will come along and save you, so until then slap on the makeup and look as pretty as possible to get him (then insert your backwards-facing barbs and don't let go).
Studio Ghibli: love conquers all. Oh, and never trust someone without a face.

So imagine how deeply disturbed I am to find out Disney have realised that Studio Ghibli are far superior (at least they weren't founded by a Nazi) and have jumped on the bandwagon for some rub-off fame.
Well, now that all the other movie studios have got in on the computer animation cash cow Disney realises it's no longer their "thing" and no amount of adorable anthropomorphised inanimate and/or animal-based characters are going to make them popular again, so bye bye Pixar and hello Award Winning Japanese Animation!
Disney probably did very little, but for promoting and releasing the film in the Western World to cinema audiences everywhere they are slapping their name all over it. They probably oversaw the English dubs and are going to rake in loads from Studio Ghibli's famous name.

I am terrified.

Disney have already collectively destroyed all the great German fairytales, Greek mythology and of course the masterpiece by A.A.Milne.
Who is A.A. Milne? I hear you ask. Well when I've stopped bashing your head in with a very large book I will tell you, A.A. Milne was the original creator of Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, it wasn't thought up by Disney, they just raped a perfectly brilliant British idea and put a shirt on him and made him their own.
I grew up on the original A.A. Milne books, I used to bake treats from A.A. Milne Winnie the Pooh cookbooks, I used to play Pooh sticks every time I passed a bridge over a stream because of the original.
I used to be teased in school for liking the X-men and having pictures of them all over my school folders, and yet the ones pointing and laughing were clutching Americanised Disney Winnie the Pooh stationery (X-men rated PG-13, Winnie the Pooh rated so mild that you could show it to a highly anxious, paranoid hamster with hypertension and it would fall asleep).

Studio Ghibli already have a huge fanbase here in the UK, my family owns nigh on all of their movies, and I've even started collecting some of the less far-out and fantasy-filled that my dad has missed. Okay, so I got Only Yesterday because I saw it on TV late at night but it is still amazing. In fact it's so amazing they never even dubbed it in English. Fine by me, because I never watch them in English, I find the English voices annoying and grating, especially after watching them in the original Japanese. It's just not right hearing them in English.
Anyway, my point being is that Studio Ghibli don't need Disney to release a movie, they are already popular enough they could release it on their own with no problems. So I can only come to the conclusion that Disney "offered" to help (bullied them into submission) and hoped they would get popular off Ghibli's fame.

I am saddened this day, as a great institution is being absorbed into the giant mass of consumerist crap that is Disney and they will not rest until they have dragged Studio Ghibli through the mud then strangled it until it dies, then Disney will be on top again.

Disney have been recently pedalling their "Magic of Disney" CD with the "best" of their movie wailings for Christmas. This prompted me to come up with my new Phrase of the Month:

"There is no magic in Disney, only LIES!"

After the media storm the first time the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) got switched on I expected there to be more uproar when it was rebooted after a whole year of repairs on Monday.
Then again, I think the media wouldn't like a reminder of the sheer embarrassment and shame they experienced last time:



I don't know if I posted this screenshot from the Yahoo news homepage on the day after the LHC was switched on here at LiveJournal. I just had to take the screenshot to forever remember the media stupidity and to shove it in the media's face every chance I get on the day science went "neener neener neener told you so."

In fact, it was such a tiny event it got about 70 words in a small corner of a quick fire news column in this week's New Scientist. No more media storm, well, the previous week they did do a huge story on what they hope to find that (fingers crossed) the LHC is up and running and is working. They're going to take it slow though, so if anything catastrophic does happen, it probably won't until they get it running at full capacity, 14 tetraelectronvolts. And even then I'm hoping people from the future step out and tell us that we're living in underwater civilisations because the world got flooded from global warming.

I just love it when science wins, and nobody got hurt. Remember kids, science is fun!

I decided to keep this one separate from my previous rant because it is separate. I'm all up to date now and you all know to never go near TNG, so I can continue.
The job I got was through an education recruitment agency, Hays. They took a bloody long time setting it all up and arranging everything, but I finally got it (I was the only one available for it, but I don't care, I have a job ^_^).
My hours have recently been changed so I work longer Mondays and Wednesdays and I get Fridays off. Great! Until Hays found out, now they're going to send me out on Invigilation jobs every damn Friday >_>
I was told last week (keep that in mind) of an Invigilation job coming up on Friday 13th (tomorrow). I was told to call on Thursday if I hadn't heard anything. So, today rolls around, and I call before I head off to work.
In a meeting, call back at lunch.
So when I take a sneaky 10 minutes to eat my lunch I decide to call because it was lunchtime!
Sorry, he's out for lunch.
Well I never...I call once more when I leave work and I get put through to my adviser's office but he doesn't pick up. I had to take a detour today because I was going to get a winter flu jab at Lloyds Pharmacy at 4. I was actually quite busy today and couldn't be on the phone every hour trying to chase up these incompetent's jobs. So instead I decide to leave him a message, and instead I get put through to the person that actually arranges the invigilations.
I was told it would be in Liverpool, a good hour's commute from where I live. I was expecting it to start about 10 or 11, it's been so long since I had an exam I don't know how they time these things...
I get told that I have to be there for 8:30am. I wasn't a happy bunny, it was possible to get there for that time but I was uncertain about the route because I had never been in that area of Liverpool ever. I would also have to pay peak prices for the train which would cost about £5. I had already planned to go and see my friend who is covering in the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool city centre on Friday as well, which would cost me another hefty price to get a train to Liverpool then back home. So I kick up a small fuss over it, I can't be expected to spend up to £9 on train fares when my pay would only be about £15. So they try to compromise with increased pay and a start time of 8:45. By this point I was wearing thin, what with only being able to get hold of them at half 3 in the afternoon (although it was starting to go dark, so I suppose evening...).
The woman who deals with the invigilations told me she hadn't even started the process yet, and she needed 8 people for tomorrow. She was honestly going to leave it to the very last second to sort it all out. So I let her try to find other people while I go and get my vaccine. Bang on the time I told her I would be available again my adviser called me up saying the woman had a lot of invigilators getting ill and she really needed me, and so I reluctantly agreed, not liking the idea of getting up at 6am to catch the 7am train.
So I took the details, and he asked me if my CRB document had come through, it hadn't (despite them charging me for it already) so he told me to just bring my ID.
Just as I was about to relegate myself to a really really early start, I got another call. It turned out the school was strict about who they let in and I needed to have my CRB document with me, so I couldn't do it.
I tried to sound disappointed, I really did :P
But when I got home I received another call at half 6 (strange seeing as how when I went to their offices on Wednesday everyone had left by half 5). They had another invigilation job I could do tomorrow, oh joy. This one was in Wirral but would still mean me catching the 7:20am train to get there for half 8. So it looks like no more days off for me until these damn exams are over, and I should be getting to bed soon so I get enough sleep. My dad is nice enough to take me in the morning so I don't have to leave until quarter to 8, ahh another 15 minutes in bed :)
The annoying thing is, actually the two annoying things are that stupid woman left it all until the last minute, but mostly that my friend usually works at the Lady Lever Art Gallery in Port Sunlight, a small walk away from the school that I am invigilating at tomorrow. But tomorrow he's in Liverpool, so rather than a small walk to go and see him, I will have to go on another fun train journey towards Liverpool. But I don't mind, because I get to have an end-of-the-week pint and a good old chat about what's been going on.
I'm kinda looking forward to tomorrow :)

Wow, 13 weeks, really? That long?
It must have something to do with the fact that I have a life now...
I didn't realise I had never ranted about this ECDL course I went on. Prepare for a very, very long rant. Luckily I've finished because I've got a JOB! Yay for me! It's only part-time and I'm on minimum wage but I signed off JSA as soon as I could.
Thinking I would be going straight to the place that offered the ECDL course I was surprised to find myself on the first day of my shiny course not learning a thing about computers but instead sitting in an Induction Room surrounded by other unsure, nervous and confused people.
Would you look at that, I was handed off to a company that would then hand me off to another company that actually taught me the course.
Well, I wouldn't so much say "company" as ten monkeys in a suit trying to control a room of delinquents.
You see, the majority of people who are sent packing to TNG by the lazy-ass worthless government don't actually want a job, but the worthless government don't want them sitting on JSA all their lives so try to train them up.
This place wanted me to do an intensive job search, and because I had to get up at 7am and commute to their centre every day they could actually watch me do it and made sure I did (I knew this was coming, I could feel it...). But first, the course, not very spectacular except I knew more about Office 2007 than the tutor did and I actually ended up teaching the people around me with significantly more success than the tutor because he wanted us to learn his way which unfortunately didn't work.
So I leave this course with no job and had to return to TNG to sit in their centre all day and apply for at least 10 jobs every day. Yes folks, there really are that many out there if you search every single tiny dark corner of the internet. I'd know, I've done it. Or if you can't find anything to apply for they will happily accept 10 begging letters to companies for a job. To be honest I didn't bother much with those, they make you sound whiny and desperate.
But I was a good little girl and I did my work, I applied for as many jobs as I could every single day. And yet after I had exhausted every job site, after I had done my ten applications and I was taking a well-deserved rest after wracking my brain for four hours trying to make myself sound better than I really was, they still came in and gave us a collective kick up the backside. As I've said, there were people in that room that didn't want a job, and never wanted a job, they wanted to remain on JSA all their lives, and so didn't do the work.
There was one guy who was obviously a timid, terrified little creature, but he still came strutting in and shouting at everyone. When anyone had a valid argument for his outbursts he would quietly slip out the room and then return five minutes later with just as much fire in his tiny little belly as before. He really got on my nerves, I would simply push forward my job lead log and go back to whatever I was doing. He never bothered me ever, he could tell I was ready to kill.
Another high *COUGH* point in my little TNG experience was the induction week, we were supposed to be told the ins and outs of how this thing worked as well as pointers on getting a job like writing a CV and how to survive an interview. Instead we got a woman who told us about how she repeatedly got her teetotal mother drunk. Here is a little conversation I tried to have with her (but because I sat at the back I was largely ignored as she made friends with the people who sat at the front):
Her: "Carpe diem, curriculum vitae, they're the only two bits of Latin I know."
Me: "Oh come on, you know one more, Homo sapiens."
Her: stands there like a plank of hardwood looking at me in complete bewilderment "I hardly know English love, never mind Latin!"
Me: smacks forehead with hand

HOW DID THESE PEOPLE HAVE JOBS AND I DIDN'T?!?

Still, I have one now, I'm finally on the career ladder thank goodness, but it was incredibly good motivation, I was so desperate to get out of there I would have done almost anything for a job, and I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to be unemployed again.

As per the title of this long ranting blog, TNG is supposed to stand for "Training". Although I came up with some far more appropriate and altogether more amusing meanings for their much-loved acronym:
Twatty Nobrained Gits
Transparently Not Geniuses
Turtle Neck Gimpsuits.
I wanted to do one with "Goat" on the end but couldn't think of anything, that thing sapped my creativity, so much so that my comic strips suffered as a result.
I even wrote a song about TNG to be sung to the tune of Hotel California:

On a dark Wirral highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of mcdonalds, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a sad gang of youths
My heart grew heavy and my mind grew dim
I had to go there for months
There she stood behind reception;
I heard the fire bell
And i was thinking to myself,
'this could be limbo or this could be hell'
Then she picked up a time sheet and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to TNG Birkenhead
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room on our thirteen week placements
Any time of year, you can find us here

Her mind is just plain twisted, she induces the unemployed.
She talks all day about her drunken mum, man we were bored.
They all smoke in the courtyard, rank summer sweat.
Some smoke to remember, most smoke to forget

So I called up reception,
'Please bring me my timesheet'
He said, 'we haven't seen your last once here since nineteen ninety three’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up from your midday nap
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to TNG Birkenhead
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They’re beating up each other in the induction room
I’m glad it’s not me, bring security

Motivational slogans,
And how to write your CV,
And she said 'you are all just prisoners here, and you belong to me’
And in the master's office,
They gathered for the feast
They call up the pizza delivery guy,
And they proceed to eat

Last thing I remember,

I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the nice woman,
We are trained to succeed.
You can sign out any time you like,
But you can never leave!

I'm very proud of it, and now I can't sing the usual lyrics whenever I hear Hotel California, I sing this and feel glad that I am finally free of that awful, awful place.

Occassionally I will read a silly little article about the differences between men and women highlighted on my homepage as sponsored by a popular internet dating service...
But some of them really take the biscuit, so much so that it makes me realise how different I am from "ordinary" women and for a brief moment stops me wondering why men find me so interesting/attractive.  It's because I am so much like them and so little like the typical female out there.  I've just read an article aimed at women called "Secrets to Keep", which has a list of points to not tell a prospective partner.  Most of them made sense, most things you don't want to reveal until much later when he feels an obligation to stay with you.
But there was one that completely outraged me, entitled "Your ditziest remarks" and went something like this:

"Guys like a girl with a brain. Don’t ask “Is East Berlin near West Berlin?” as I (Sarah, one half of this writing duo) once did. Or say, “So is Japan in Europe?” as I also did (Come on! It’s all the same land mass). Show interest if the conversation gets beyond you - Sub Prime Mortgage Crisis anyone? Ask interested questions and the guys will LOVE explaining it all. Their chests will swell with pride - they are so well-read and clever. Let them, don’t spoil it."

Of course guys like girls with a brain, which is why all the stupid women (like the ones in Sex and the City) are perpetually single.  Actually being intelligent does go a long way in attracting a man, and is probably one of the top reasons why most women are constantly complaining that they're single.
However for me, I like my men to be less intelligent, meaning I will be the one explaining things to them.  Also, I wonder why they chose that particular woman to write the article - "So is Japan in Europe?" - it's a wonder she has a single useful thought in her head at all, never mind enough to write an article on how to attract a man.  No it is NOT the same land mass you dumb bitch, Japan is an island.  China is on the same land mass as Europe (my dad gets the two confused all the time, perhaps she is too).  But either she was one of those disgustingly trendy art/english degree types and was never versed in the Geography on the world, or she is just plain ignorant.
I thought my Geography was bad, but at least I know my Venice from Venezuela.

Recently I've been worrying that I'm a woefully normal human being, but seeing examples like this makes me realise I'm a cut above the rest, no wonder men find me so alluring, with my superior intellect (compared to some other women) and my natural red hair...

Every so often, the cosmetics/anti-ageing will find a great new scientific-sounding word that they use to try and make their product sound a lot more advanced and sophisticated than it really is.
A couple of years back, every single cosmetics company focussed on DNA, it seemed like the miracle cure for ageing (and actually it's making a comeback, new research into gene expression in older and younger faces is being funded by such cosmetic giants as Loreal). Now, unfortunately, it seems like every single cosmetics company has at least one product with the word "derma" in.
At the supermarket yesterday I noticed some spray deoderants that were on offer, each variant contained the word "derma", one was called "derma invisible". Now if this were really true, I'd be snapping up those deoderants and applying them all over.
Why? Because "derma" means "skin", companies have been dropping the word "dermatologists" in their adverts for years now, which is essentially the proper name for a skin doctor, a medial professional that specialises in skin. Not just anti-ageing though, or keeping your pH balanced or banishing those unsightly blotches, they deal with medical conditions too.
So essentially, the name of this deoderant is "invisible skin". I want invisible skin! It would certainly make robbing banks a lot easier...
This blog was sparked by the television advert for a product called "Eye Derma Pod". It's been on for a while now, and it seems like every time i turn on the television I come across it in an advert break.
I don't like that name, I can't stand scientific terminology carelessly used to sell products as it is (such as the craze on the internet where they believe they can sell worthless products by adding the word "quantum" to it), but they've called this product "Eye Skin Pod". Is it just me, or does that not sound creepy to you?
Now they're reviewing it as the perfect handbag accessory, to take with you anywhere when your eyes need a boost. I wouldn't be happy with having something they've essentially named a pod of eye skin sitting in my bag. I have lip balm and anti allergy tablets and handwash, I do not want a little sack of eye skin.
Thankfully I'm not one to sway to scientific jargon - being a scientist, even though I'm no dermatologist, I hopefully can find the companies that don't need to hide behind fancy words because their product actually works

Eleda is my current character on Morrowind, Eleda is the name of most of the RPG elven females I play in games.  My trip to Morrowind today inspired me to write a sort of diary for her.


After practising, and annoying, many locals in Balmora I decided to finally go back to Sulipund and try to convince some dusty old wizard to join the Mages Guild.  It was a task set upon me by their leader, and in order to rise in the ranks I had to get them members so they could make more money.
It seems most people in Balmora are driven by money, one way or another, the traders get annoyed when you try and sell them your items for a fair price, they want to give out as little as possible for some of the most fantastic things I've found on my adventures.  The only thing I fail to understand is their open hate for Outlanders, surely they're a good source of precious gold for the city.
I had lost a lot of gold practising my bribing, and for the most part it worked, until I was confident enough I could sway this sorcerer without killing him.  I'm not fond of killing anything unless it attacks me first.
I had already ventured into Molag Amur to find out where the people the Mages Guild wanted me to track down were.  However by the time I had found them, deep into the mountains, far along the twisting path, I was too weak from the vicious sandstorms and repeated attacks by the native wildlife there.  Rats as big as your head, bloodsucking leeches and those pestilent hunters of the sky, the Cliff Racers.  Their attack is quite ingenious, I almost admire them if they weren't so annoying.  They pick a target and follow it high above in the skies, almost as though they are analysing their prey.  They then silently descend, unless you have your wits about you and are constantly checking the skies you don't know they're on you until they've knocked you to the ground and are trying to claw out your heart.
Because they are flying creatures, it is difficult to land a solid blow, the best you can do is hack off their toxic tail and wait for them to descend further and attack you with their huge fangs, then you can deal a killing strike.
My second excursion out to Molag Amur saw confrontations with far fewer of these deadly Cliff Racers, but I had encountered a few that did not see me the last time I was there.  I finally reached Sulipund, the residents there did not seem as welcoming of me as last time, perhaps they were friends of some of the people I annoyed in Balmora with my persuasion, but that can be easily remedied.  I found the old coot in his library, and my tactics worked surprisingly well on him, much better than the locals in Balmora.  After slipping him a significant amount of gold, he finally agreed to join "us", although I was only with the Mages Guild for their training and for the money.  He said he would join the next time he was in Balmora, which I suspect won't be any time soon.  Still, once I returned to Balmora to tell the leader of the Guild the good news, she seemed pleased, so much so that I was promoted in their ranks.
The journey back had its toll, so I rested at Casius' house, my tutor and friend, at some ungodly hour in the morning.  Yet more Cliff Racers had set upon me and I was low on Magika from trying to defend myself.
However during my rest I was awoken by a noise, and found none other than a darkly-clothed assassin in the room.  Casius did nothing to assist me as he struck, my Magika had not yet recovered so I pulled out my sword and I struck the assassin.  Others in the past had defeated me, but this time I was determined not to fall to one, I had gained experience since my last encounter and I was ready to fight him.  With a few swift, strong thrusts of my sword I managed to kill him.
Upon inspecting his body I found out he was of the Dark Brotherhood.  I took his clothes and found him to be a Dunmer, a dark elf with skin not unlike my own.  I took his clothes and found them to be tougher and lighter than my current armour.  I wrung the blood out of the armour, it was black and made of tightly stitched leather.  I put it on, Casius doesn't seem phased, but due to the fact that these are the garments of an assassin I am apprehensive about going outside.  However upon going out, the people of Balmora do not seem as bothered by me as they usually do, being an unpopular Outlander.
I am still reluctant to sell my old gear, I have to travel to someone who can give me information on the Dark Brotherhood and my clothing may cause offense there,  but it provides such excellent protection.  Before I travel to a new area, however, I still have to convince an old lady in a cave to give over all her money to the Mage's Guild.  So in my new and improved armour I set off once again into the dark, dusty and dingy area known as Molag Amur.

Please do see this post about my general view of my "abnormal" behaviour.
Although I am starting to wonder if this abnormal obsessive fangirl behaviour is actually very normal and usually unnoticed by the Internet People (I have yet to make a post about Internet People).  I am already a proud fangirl of the Klingon Worf from Star Trek.
However upon my 2am channel hopping I came across a late-night BBC showing of the movie Osmosis Jones.  Ever since then I have been almost completely obsessed by the movie.  I have watched it 5 times already (although hardcore fans have usually watched it 30+ times), and I still want to watch it again tonight.  Well, for the third time in the last 24 hours.
I even can't stop playing one of the songs from the movie, the last time I really liked a song and played it constantly I got so sick of it I cannot listen to it at all now.
Once again, I am completely obsessed with the "evil" character (which tragically dies at the end), he is voiced so wonderfully, all the characters are, and the animation is amazing.  It's actually done by the same people that did Space Jam, but this one was also aimed at kids (when actually, after a bit of online research, was originally written for a teen audience and cut down so kiddies would enjoy it).
Despite the fact that it really could have appealed to me so much more, I still love the watered-down kids version.  The bad guy called Thrax is played by Laurence Fishburne, the guy that plays Morpheus in the Matrix.  The voice is so smooth and flowing I can't help but be helpless to 'his' charms.
During my research I came across some Thrax-orientated fan fiction, I intended to read it but as soon as I read that a "mother" was involved I closed down the window, because Thrax was a virus and therefore will have ONE parent, which will be an exact copy of him.  But the movie, despite me being a biologist, actually appeals to me.
I know it's strange to become infatuated with a supposedly anthropomorphised viral cell, and it sucks being a multicellular organism in this context (although if I was just a single cell I would be unable to appreciate the genuis of Osmosis Jones), I have been saying all night long that if I was a viral cell I would love to swap DNA with him.
Not "reproduce" like these idiotic fanfiction writers believe...

However, my previous obsession of the character from the Storm Hawks has slightly subsided, although I still think about him occasionally, and I hope I'm like that with Thrax, and perhaps I'll still be wanting to watch the movie in a few weeks' time.
Heck, being a single-celled organism is a lot simpler than being a multicellular one, as I found out in Ninjistu today.  As I said on Twitter (goodness I'm so amazingly cool :P), "I love ninjistu, just not the people".

I just had to answer this one because I remember that my wardrobe malfunction actually caused me an injury.
It was one of the times (goodness knows which one) when the whole family went down to Centre Parks for the Easter holidays, as per usual.  It's the only time of the year we get some nice family bike riding and walks in, apart from Christmas.  One day on a bike ride with my brother and my dad I was wearing some rather awkward pants, the zipper would not stay up.  But unbeknownst to me, I was unaware, until we came across another family of bike riders, who all pointed and laughed at my open "fly".
In the sheer embarrassment, I tried to cover up and subsequently lost control of my bike and went tumbling to the ground.
I honestly don't know if I should blame my trousers or that judgemental family (because come on, it's not like any of them have EVER been caught with their zip open).

Ever since I have to double check I've pulled my zipper up before leaving a toilet.
I'm all for Adrian's idea of having clothes with velcro fasteners, at least velcro never breaks without you knowing (because otherwise you wouldn't be able to fasten it up) and it would make removing clothes a whole lot easier...teehee.

Before you read this Journal, answer me these three questions:
Did you ever get SARS?
Did you ever suffer from Bird Flu?
Have you ever been in a terrorist attack?
Do you know anyone who has ever died from regular, human flu?

If your answer to one of those is "yes" then I do apologise.  If you answer to all of those is "yes" then you're a fucking liar.
However for most of the world, the answer to those questions will be no.

Let me tell you a little secret about swine flu, get in close because I'm going to whisper it in your ear because only the clever people should know this.
Swine flu is no different from regular flu.

In symptoms, at least, swine flu will NOT kill you, providing you are in a rich, Western country and you're between the ages of 10 and 60.  If you've ever had "normal" flu in your lifetime (I haven't) you know how annoying it is, but you went to the doctors, got a sick note, took a week off work and ate, slept and took large quantities of cold and flu symptom-relieving medicine and got better.
My advice to anyone with swine flu in a developed country is do exactly the same as you would do with human flu.  The ONLY reason the WHO is going to pandemic alert is that swine flu has picked up a few extra genes in its evolutionary history.
Swine flu contains 7 swine flu genes, 2 bird flu genes and 1 human flu gene.  However the proteins on the outside of the cell (called antigens) that your body recognises (and identifies it as a foreign cell and therefore must be destroyed) all belong to swine flu.  Therefore unless you're a pig farmer, you will not have immunity to, no matter how many times you've suffered from the human flu.
As far as scientists can tell, the bird flu genes make it a lot more 'virulent', which means that it will pass between people more easily.  The human flu gene helps that along, in that it can pass between people.
The reason bird flu never went pandemic is that it lacked these human genes that allowed easy transmission between people (note the word easy), but the WHO kept an eye on it in case it did.

How did the swine flu virus get these genes, I hear you imaginary audience cry.
Swine flu is a big problem in Mexico (where it started) there's a seasonal swine flu outbreak every year in the pigs they farm there.  In fact, it's so common that pig farmers are starting to develop their own vaccines because it evolves so quickly the big companies can't keep up (and it's not all that profitable).  Swine flu amongst farmed pigs in Mexico has got so common it's a year round thing, rather than a winter virus.
Pig farmers get the swine flu all the time, they are resistant to it, and this strain that's got pandemic.
What has happened is that a pig that already has swine flu has become infected with bird flu, by coming into close contact with an infected bird.  The bird flu and swine flu meet up and swap genes, viruses do that all the time, it's how they become resistant to drugs and evolve quickly so you keep getting a new cold every year, for instance.  Then, one of these pig farmers that is infected with human flu catches this swine/bird flu hybrid.  The hybrid swaps a gene with the human flu.
It started being transmitted between humans when the pig farmer went to see his family, they have big family get-togethers in Mexico.  Now in Mexico they don't have wonderful sanitation and healthcare that we do in the Western world, it's unfortunate that they don't, but that's the reality.  This is why people died, because they have other diseases because they have poor healthcare in the rural, pig-farming areas.

The single case that died in the US, and to date the only person in a Western country that has died from swine flu, was a baby.  The only people that die from regular flu, are babies and the elderly, because they have weaker immune systems.
There is currently no vaccine for swine flu (it wasn't profitable to develop one), but now that governments and people are going to buy it up like candy, the pharmaceutical companies are rushing to develop one.
Despite the media hype here in Britain, it is currently only confirmed in London, oh and it's not resistant to Tamiflu.  There is a chance of it becoming resistant.  There is already a human flu virus out there that is resistant to Tamiflu, and if a person that already has this resistant strain catches swine flu, then there is a chance they'll do that gene swapping thing (or if a human with swine flu catches the resistant human flu).
But don't panic, because it's highly unlikely.  At least as likely as bird flu becoming transmissible between humans.  For that to happen, a human would have to catch both human and bird flu.  By the way, that's still a real possibility, so why oh why aren't we on high alert for bird flu anymore?

Sometimes I wonder if people forget they have a wonderful gift, a beautiful biological bounty that mother nature has bestowed upon most of us.
An immune system.
Use it.

In the UK a supermarket called Sainsbury's (I don't know if they're in the US, I know Tesco is but that's about it) who are giving away vouchers, depending on how much you spend, and they have codes on and you can enter the codes to win a £50 voucher for your shopping, before giving those vouchers on to a school so they can get free sports equipment.  That's the back story.

I've been the code-entering monkey, I've been putting codes upon codes into their website, and after a few weeks we finally won a £50 voucher!  That cut our shopping bill by a third, which is just what we need now that money is tight because less people are spending and as a result of that my dad's shop is not taking in as much.  After winning this £50 my mother and I conspired to win another, she loved the money off and the thrill of winning and the smug feeling as she handed in the voucher to the cashier and got to boast about it.
So I thought perhaps the draw is dependent on 1 voucher per e-mail, or at least there's some sort of reduced chance for the same e-mail to win twice, computers can be that clever.

So I started entering my mum's e-mail address and lo and behold, we won another £50 voucher.  She can't wait to boast about it to her three sisters, who are all here because of my grandmother's recent passing.  She says they don't bother entering the vouchers.
Now we're going to try my e-mail address, it may be a "clever" computer but it's only as clever as how it's programmed, and I'm sure I can outwit it again.

Then again, my dad did mention how lucky I always was, I was the bane of every tombola in Wirral, because eight times out of ten I would win something.  Perhaps because I was entering the codes, or perhaps I just beat the system.

Bring on the smugness.

Amidst the usual tidal wave of spam and junk e-mail I receive, I got one from my favourite uhh...well, the only galaxy classification site on the web.  2009 is the year of the astrologer or something like that, and to celebrate they're trying to get 1 million galaxy classifications in 100 hours.  They're nearly a third of the way there, and it's about seventeen hours in.
So of course, I go to the site and log in and begin my glut of classifications.  Once again I come across some truly beautiful specimens such as this one:

Usually however I am so captivated by their beauty, or so eager to classify another wonderful galaxy I don't put much thought into it.  However today I've been pondering whether there is any sentient life in these galaxies.  Whether there is someone out there in these galaxies, existing just as I am right now.  Is there an alien planet in one of these galaxies with an internet-like invention that has invited the public to classify galaxies they've taken pictures of, and the alien happens to be looking at the galaxy I'm in right now?
After going through a few galaxies this thought started to become rather overwhelming, just the idea of another sentient being existing in one of the galaxies I am looking at a picture of seems so strange, perhaps because I am starting to realise these pictures are simply snapshots of something that really exists, whereas before I was treating them as mere art.
Then again, it could just be my hormones at this particular time of the month that is making me so much more susceptible to "negative" emotions.
Of course, the human mind may have some sort of mechanism that means pondering about other sentient beings in the Universe creates negative emotions in order to deterr it from thinking about them any longer.  Perhaps the scale of the Universe is so vast the human mind simply cannot comprehend thinking about it, and has a feedback mechanism to stop this ludicrous thought process at once.

Or perhaps now I'm just thinking too much, that's what talking about psychological theory with your fellow charity shop volunteers all afternoon does to you.

Hah, depends if I was innocent or guilty :P

Firstly, this is mostly a rant about how annoyed I am about BBC4's Japan Season - yes, it's nice and informative, a sort of layman's guide to Japan, perfect for someone who doesn't know anything about the country.  But with Japan being a large part of popular Western culture, everyone should know at least something about it.
Or at least I thought, the presenters don't have a clue, and have closed-minded Western ideals meaning they cannot appreciate the culture.  The first programme I watched was by some art critic wanting to be a samurai, he had no idea what a samurai was for a start (apart from the mythical people you hear about in fiction) and second he had no idea how to handle a sword, and so nearly cut the head off a sword saleswoman.  He ended up as some painted, powdered and choreographed character in a fictional tale that looked like Power Rangers with false Samurai.

Now I'm watching a programme exploring the Japanese's obsession with fish, I'm also quite curious about their obsession over fish.  However it's presented by a know-nothing backpacker that looks like he's tried to be a student all his life.  He visited a whaling village and failed to grasp why they hunt and eat whales, because he claims to have been taught that whaling is morally wrong by Western culture.  Actually, so have I, but I respect other countries traditions and am able to see from their point of view, what he has done is fail to choose to ignore the Westerners yelling about how awful other countries' practises are, while they cut down their forests and invade foreign countries with shaky reasons.
However what really, and I mean really, upset me, was when they were discussing Bluefin Tuna - a very expensive delicacy in Japan, due to its rarity.  A University had perfected breeding them in captivity, after 13 years of failure, either through eggs failing to hatch or suicidal fish, however due the the tuna's huge size they needed 100 tonnes of Mackerel a year to feed them in captivity.  The presenter said "it seems like a false economy, why don't they just eat the Mackerel?"
That statement is one of the most hypocritical things I have ever heard, and hypocrites are my biggest pet peeve.  It's the same as the old vegetarian argument that all the meat eaters so convieniently choose to ignore, now he was obviously not vegetarian because he went around Japan to sample fish.  Vegetarians always like taking the moral high ground in that they eat the vegetables, and so consume less, rather than having to produce vegetables to feed animals which in turn feed the omnivores.  We cut out the middleman, and so need less land per person to live on (hence why the vegetarian society is convinced that everyone going veggie will solve global warming and the food "crisis").
But this man has obviously failed to realise this logic applies to his food as well, it would be far easier to just eat the grains that feed his food rather than feed the food the same grains as a person could consume and end up with less.
I am sick and tired of seeing this ignorant nobodies on television giving their own personal view of Japan, as if they've never heard of it in their lives.  I don't see why I'm not getting a free holiday to Japan in the name of television, I'm at least making an attempt at learning the language.